First Impressions
by yousuck1
Summary: Reposted after a minor problem. If the protagonists of this fandom's two most infamous stories were ever to meet, things would certainly not go well. In case you don't know these two stories, they are Jo Bekke at Hogwarts and My Immortal. T for obvious reasons.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I should have written something a long time ago - ever since I started here - but alas this was an account I used solely to flame people, praise others, and PM. But here is my first story anyway. They're not my characters obviously. Jo Bekke/Bel/etc belongs to the amazing Jo Belle. Ebony Way belongs to the mediocre Tara Gilesbie. This is my interpretation if the two were ever to meet.**

**I do not own HP.**

_Chapter I._

Jo Bekke had always been a precocious child. She had cleverness, beauty, and of course was a southern witch who effortlessly managed to get accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and gain the love of all. Despite her intolerant views, she had a boyfriend that she regularly bedded, her cousin Darryl. Harry Potter was her dear brother who was also very talented, but she yet outshined.

"I hope ME and Darryl can go to the dance tonite. He's very sexy and much bedder dan all you WORTHLESS NORTHERN BLACK GAY MUSLIM LESBIAN MEXICAN DUMBLEDORKS!"

"I know right? You guys are SUCH a cute couple! The best in Hogwarts!" commented Harmiony Granger, Jo Bekke's resident fangirl.

"I know! I hope no gays, bisexuals, Katholics, BLACKS, dirty SCUM SLYTHERIN NORTHERNERS SHOW UP! Dat would ruin it for all the SEXY, COOL, Gryffindor southerners like us!"

"Yeah!" agreed Hermione rather stupidly.

Jo went on to bang Darryl after this. Little did she know that another suggestive couple was going to the dance that night.

* * *

Ebony Way was the most 'depressed' person at Hogwarts. She was so 'depressed' she bragged about it constantly. A self-proclaimed 'goffik', she regularly cut herself, listened to 'goffik bands', hung out with Draco, Vampire, Willow, and Bloody Mary, and always ardently expressed her loathing for preps and posers (mostly the former).

"I hate my life, I hate it so much," she exclaimed to Draco one day. "Fuck all these preps!"

He agreed.

"Hey do you want to SLIT YOUR WRISTS to MCR with me? Then we'll go to the dance even though mostly preps will be there." Ebony suggested, and it should be noted that this was her idea of romance.

"Okay. I love you Ebony." He replied. They did it.

* * *

Jo Bekke had attired herself with her cultural southern clothes; a tight cowgirl dress and boots with pitchfork earrings. She made sure she also had her pitchfork wand with her, placing it behind her ear like one would a pen.

"I LUKE SO SEXY," she commented. "THE NORTHERNERS CAN'T BEAT THIS!"

Harmony and Harry agreed accordingly.

"SOUTHERNERS RULE!"

"YAH!"

* * *

Despite her idiotic "depression", which was an insult to people who were genuinely suffering from despondency, Ebony had managed to dress up as well. She had on a tight gothic black minidress and to make it look even more gothic, she had cut herself and took all the blood to splatter it all over the dress. All while listening to some shamed 'goffik' band.

"I'm so depressed," she moaned idiotically. "But I am sexy! I can't wait to dance with you tonite Draco!"

"Fuck you are," Draco said. "Let's go."

"OK!" she said readily, taking a sip of human blood from a cup and making her way with Draco.

* * *

The dance was already decently full. Jo Bekke made her way in with Darryl and asked him,

"I HATE THIS NORTHERN MUSIC DEY'RE PLAYING. Why can't dey play Tayler SWIFT or something lol."

"I know right." He said. "This suks."

Simply put, Jo Bekke took matters into her own hands and put on some racist country music that was worse than Taylor Swift with the wave of her wand.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS PREP MUSIC PLAYING!" a piercing female shriek imploded the place. "And it's racist TOO!"

Jo Bekke was immediately alerted and looked around for the scum who dared go against her.

"HOO ARE YOU SLUT?" Jo Bekke was disgusted at the sight of, what she assumed, was a bisexual, unpopular, suicidal northerner that deserved to die by means of a whipping, southern-style.

"PREP!" the girl insulted her back.

"GAY!" Jo threw in return.

"HOMOPHOBIC PREP!"

"BLACK!"

"RACIST PREP!"

"GO TO HELL DUMBLEDORK!"

"DIE YOU DUMB PREP!"

Jo Bekke could not withstand this ugly northerner any longer! And even though he hadn't said anything yet, she couldn't stand the equally depressed-looking guy Ebony had with her.

"What's YUR NAME?" Jo Bekke asked all of a sudden.

"My name is Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I fucking rock because I'm a goth. FUCK OFF YOU DUMB RACIST PREP AND DON'T BOTHER ME OR DRACO EVER AGAIN PREP!"

Jo Bekke had had enough of this imbecile. So she did the Cruciatus Curse on Ebony and before Draco could save her, Jo Bekke put a spell on him that turned him into a prep and as a result he killed himself.

"DRACO!" Ebony cried out. She wanted to die now. But before that she wanted to listen to some MCR and Good Charlotte, while slitting her wrists to them. Of course, because after all she never really did care about Draco. She was a fucking idiot.

Meanwhile Harmiony the fangirl cheered her friend on.

"Yah! Jo Bekke my HERO! DESTROY THE BI NORTHERN SCUM! JO BEKKE'S GON' SAVE US ALL!"

In addition to her, all the white, racist, redneck, tractor-using southerners praised Jo's actions.

"JO BEKKE MY SAVIOR!"

"SOUTHERNERS FOREVER!"

"YEEHAH!"

"YAY JO BEKKE!"

"BOO EBONY! STUPID BLACK, GAY, BISEXUAL, LESBIAN, GOFFIK SATANIST!".

Jo Bekke was basically torturing the living shit out of Ebony; she stretched every part of Ebony's worthless body, resulting in excruciating pain for the falsely depressed, "gothic" fool.

And Jo was enjoying every single second of it, albeit she was not sadistic like Ebony.

In fact, Jo Bekke felt inclined to take it even further. Thus, she kissed Darryl and apologized because she had to leave with this Ebony.

"I'M SORREE DARREL! BUT I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF DIS PRIVATELY!"

Jo was taking Ebony up to the dormitories.

**A/N: So there it is. There will be a second chapter. I hope you've enjoyed it. Keep in mind that even though I support Jo Belle (as obvious in the way I have written this story), I do not share her views on the world. I would like to express my gratitude to Ebony Brown for encouraging me to post this story.**

**-yousuck1**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So here's the second chapter. Hope you all enjoy.**

Once Jo had Ebony in the Gryffindor common room, and they were all alone, she tied Ebony to a seat.

"You SICK UGLEEY GOFF NORTHERN LEZBIN BIZEZUAL Nurthern BRAT!111"

"Let me GO! I DON'T DESERVE THIS, YOU PREPPY WHORE!"

Jo Bekke was so angry that she brought out her whip that she had inherited from her ancestors who were slaveowners.

Then she started beating Ebony with it.

Ebony screamed in pain. She briefly wondered what was more excruciating: slitting her wriststo MCR or this. But because she was a nonsensical, irrational excuse of a living creature, she could not figure it out.

"LET ME GO!" Ebony yelled. "I DON'T DESERVE TO BE TORTURED BECAUSE SATAN MADE ME THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ON THE PLANET!"

An insult to beautiful women.

"NO, YOUR WORTHLESS AND YOUR A NURTHERNER GAY MUSLEM JEWISH KATOLIK SATANST GOFF!" Jo Bekke managed at the top of her lungs. "I WILL KILL U!" She whipped Ebony some more.

Even though Ebony was a "vampire", Jo Bekke would find another way to kill her other than the usual way to kill vampires.

* * *

Turns out, after several hours of whipping Ebony Way the southern-style, Ebony had died.

Deep scars were left on Ebony's back in addition to the ones she already had before.

And to make sure she was dead, Jo Bekke strangled the fake goth and stuffed steak into her mouth.

Ebony Dementia Dark'ness Raven Way was dead!

At last, the world was at peace again, and JoBekkism became a practice.

Hooray!

**FIN.**

**I find that this was actually a pretty good story. Pray, tell me your thoughts in the review section.**


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